Bad Luck Incarnate


        “Me? I’m a lightweight. Like, shockingly light. As in, ‘one time I was placebo’d into getting drunk with ginger ale’ lightweight. Fun night. But yeah, let’s get the precious cargo home.” Home, that felt new on his tongue in regards to her. “Alright, hop on. I’ll get us home in a jiff.”

        And he did. It was almost a mirrored trip on the way back, except ascending the city instead of descending. Within a few minutes, his booties touched down on the terrace again. “Kahlua, check. You, check. Me, check. Anything else we need?”

     As soon as they were stepping back onto the terrace to their penthouse, she slid her arm around his waist, bringing them together, “I think I have all I need right here.” Rising onto her tip toes, she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, then started forward with him in tow. “Come on, I say we take this to the master bedroom and do what we really do best.”

Follow this koala tea blog my bby’s. Follow it now.


        “Honey, in show biz’, everything is stolen. Surely you can relate. But me? I’m a sick man, nobody’s sicker than me.” She’s seen T.V, crap. He replied, following her out of the store at a brisk walk. Before leaving, he flashed his Avengers I.D card to the clerk, confirming that he was the real deal (even though it couldn’t really be doubted). 

        “We wanna keep hitting the streets, or take it on home?”

     Felicia weighed the contents of the bottle. “It would be such a waste if it somehow smashed on our night out. Maybe we should take it home? Can’t imagine you swing too well when you’re intoxicated anyhow.” 


        “Not bad, but I didn’t hear a biting quip to really convey that he lost. Observe.” He instructed, matter-of-factly raising a finger. Bending down, he spoke to the last guy on the pile. “The jerk store called. They said they’re running out of you.” Standing up, he rubbed his hands together, as though he were dusting them off. “Actually, wait, don’t use that one. That sucked. Wanna Black Cat us a drink before we go?”

     ”You stole that from Seinfeld!” she interjected with a pointed finger, before bringing her hand back to stifle a giggle. “I think someone’s running out of jokes.” While Peter dealt with the band of robbers, Felicia rolled a bottle (one that remarkably hadn’t smashed) with her foot so the label faced upward. It was a bottle of Kahlua. Epensive for such a size. “Ooh~ This looks yummy.” Picking it up, she gripped it by the neck and came around to the register, where the owner was still cowering behind it. “Consider this payment for our heroic services,” she said, stepping on by.


"Waiting? Don’t tell me you’re waiting up here to meet another black and blue spandex clad hero, you might just break my heart." He placed a hand over his heart overdramatically. 


"What? Can’t a guy just like rooftops?" He grinned.

     ”Hm,” she hummed with amusement, “red and blue, actually. However, I don’t think he’s coming.” 


        “Alright, you guys I.D for liquor, but not armed robbery? I almost don’t wanna save the place.” As long as he, and by extension, both of them were fast, this would be a cakewalk. With the momentum from the arc of his swing, Spider-Man had sailed through the open doors and into the one who had the clerk held at gunpoint. He was knocked down and then webbed down by the time his quip had ended. 

        “I know what you guys must be thinking right now. I do, honestly! ‘I didn’t sign up for this!’ ‘I hope I sat on a pie and that’s not what I think it is!’ Mama knows, child, mama knows.” The second guy was well aware of what was happening, and turned to level his gun at the crouching Spider-Man. He yanked the trigger as fast and as hard as his finger would allow, but Peter was already bent back, dodging them as they flew clean over his head and chest, shattering bottles behind him. Springing back up, he hit the robber with three web balls, knocking him over and sending the gun clattering away. Then, there was the issue of the third guy with unfortunate timing in the bathroom…

       Unfortunate timing, indeed. Felicia had caught him while on a mad dash to make his quick escape out the bathroom window. Not quick enough in her opinion. She had his hands pinned behind his back with one hand, while the other had a firm grip on his hair. “Let’s keep it moving. Wouldn’t want you to miss out on a chance to meet the Spider like all of your other little buddies.” 
      Shoving him over with the rest of the ground, she then skipped to Peter’s side, “Not bad, huh?” 


Me right now.


        “Guilty as charged. Alright, we’re getting close. Spidey-Sense says three guys inside, I see a forth in that running Chevy over there. How do you wanna do this?”

     ”Chevvy’s mine.” Once they were close enough, Felicia dropped from his back, landing on the roof of the vehicle with a thud. It was enough to startle the driver to stick his head out the window. “Hello~” she greeted him playfully, wiggling a few fingers in his direction before sliding a booted foot around to collide with the side of his face. There was a loud grunt from the man as he slumped backward, hanging half out of the window. “Whoops. Slipped.”
     Eyes up, she saw Peter enter the store just in time. “Wait for me!” she called, jumping from the roof of the car. She paused and doubled back, turning off the running motor and swiping the keys. “So bad for the environment. You ought to know better,” she said with a laugh, chastising the unconscious man, before skipping off to the liquor store. If Peter had the front covered, she’d take the back, hoping to surprise them by cutting them off if necessary. 


        “But you’re already on the best team there is— My team. We have Spidermobiles and clones, what do the Avengers have? A jet, billions of dollars at their disposal, a swanky tower… Er, never mind. We’re getting close now. This buzzing’s telling me… Liquor store robbery.”

      “D’aw, you just want me all to yourself, don’t you, Spider?” She rose a hand to pinch gently at one of his masked cheeks. “C’mon, let’s go kick some but and maybe we can snag a drink to celebrate in the process.”


        “Dunno yet. Gotta get closer. Hopefully not the Sinister Six, though if it is, I’m wearing the right pants for it.” Black hides those stains pretty well, right? “And hopefully not a prison break. Then I gotta call the Avengers, and it becomes this big thing, and yeah.”

     ”Awh,” she pouted, “all the other things seem thoroughly disappointing in comparison now. See, if the Avengers had shown up, they would see how perfect I am for their team now.” 


        “I do, but it always helps to have a destination in mind. Let’s see…” His eyes closed, if only for a moment, to spider-sense his surroundings. “I think I’m getting something from over—” His swinging course was corrected to travel towards his left. “— This way.”

     Felicia adjusted her arms around him once more as they suddenly changed direction. “Oh~ What is it? A car chase? A mugger? A gang war? A jail breakout?” She gasped dramatically, “The Sinister Six?" She sounded far too excited about those things, but could he blame her? She was still hyped from the fact that Spider-Man now lived with her. 


        “Got it.” With his freshly booted foot, he pushed the door closed behind them. “Hold on tight.” He took a running start at the edge of the terrace, pushing off the edge with powerful legs, and over the city below. The instant rush of air around him, the freedom that swinging provided… yeah, it was good to get out of the house for awhile. “So, hear anything on the grapevine? Like, crimes and stuff?”

      Gripping rightly, she peered over one of his shoulders, eyes narrowed against the wind. “No, but you have that nifty spider-send of yours. Can’t you just feel danger when is nearby?”


Jen Broomall
Felicia Hardy - Black Cat [The Amazing Spider-Man]


Jen Broomall

Felicia Hardy - Black Cat [The Amazing Spider-Man]

…No.PLEASE, trim your posts. PLEASE.

PLEASE, trim your posts.